Sometimes I find myself thinking about the difference between choosing to help and feeling expected to help.
From the outside, the two can look very similar.
As a Deaf mum, I reflect on how easily expectations can settle into everyday life, including around communication.
Not necessarily because anyone says them out loud.
Not necessarily because anyone intends harm.
Sometimes a child helps, and others become used to that help.
A child may step forward willingly.
A child may genuinely want to help.
Both things can be true.
But when people begin counting on that help, it matters whether the child can still say no or step back.
The choice may still be there.
But it may not always feel available.
What concerns me isn't the helping itself. It's when the freedom not to help becomes harder to exercise.
Children deserve space to discover what they want, not just what is expected of them.
Expectation is not the same as choice.
REFLECTIVE QUESTION
How can we recognise when a child's willingness to help has gradually become something others expect?
