When I Started Shrinking My Feelings
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Sensitivity: Explores emotional dismissal and impact on self-trust
Content Note: Mentions minimisation of feelings and internalised doubt
A Moment
I remember expressing how something had affected me.
It wasn't dramatic.
Just honest.
But the response came quickly.
"It's not that bad."
"You're being too sensitive."
"Other people have it worse."
The conversation didn't continue.
It closed.
And so did I.
What It Did to Me
At first, I questioned whether I had explained it clearly.
Then I began questioning whether it needed to be said at all.
I started filtering my feelings.
Measuring them before sharing.
Reducing them so they would be easier to accept.
Over time, I stopped bringing certain things forward.
Not because they disappeared, but because I learned they wouldn't be received.
The impact was quiet.
I became more careful.
More contained.
Less visible in my own experience.
What I Came to Understand
Looking back, I can see how often I learned to adjust myself before anyone else had the chance to.
To soften what I felt.
To make it easier to hear.
To make it seem smaller than it was.
I thought I was being reasonable.
What I was really learning was how to leave parts of myself out of the conversation.
My feelings had not become less important.
I had simply become used to treating them that way.
Where This Still Shows Up
It shows up in the moment I pause before sharing something personal.
In the instinct to downplay what I feel.
In the quiet check:
"Is this valid enough to say out loud?"
Sometimes I still reduce my own experiences before anyone else has the chance to.
But now, I notice that pattern.
I recognise that it was learned.
And I am slowly allowing my experiences to exist without needing to justify them first.
Closing Line
My feelings did not become smaller. I simply learned to make less space for them.
Gentle Reminder: There is no urgency in awareness.
