Expectation Is Not the Same as Choice
Sometimes I find myself thinking about the difference between choosing to help and feeling expected to help.
From the outside, the two can look very similar.
As a Deaf parent, I have reflected on how easily expectations can settle into everyday life.
Not because anyone says them out loud.
Not because anyone intends harm.
But because certain roles become familiar.
A child may step forward willingly.
A child may genuinely want to help.
Both things can be true.
Yet when something is always needed, it can become difficult to know where willingness ends and expectation begins.
The choice is still there.
But it may not always feel available.
The more I reflect on this, the more I believe children deserve space to discover what they want, not just what is expected of them.
Expectation is not the same as choice.
This reflection comes from my perspective as a Deaf parent, shaped by my family, my experiences, and the CODA voices I have listened to over time. It is not about speaking for every CODA, but about recognising a pattern that deserves care.
