Being Helpful Is Not an Identity
Sometimes I find myself thinking about the difference between who a child is and what a child does.
The two can become blurred more easily than people realise.
As a Deaf parent, I have reflected on how often responsibility can become part of the way a child is seen.
Helpful.
Reliable.
Mature.
Always willing to step in.
These qualities are often spoken about with warmth and admiration.
And they can be genuine strengths.
But I sometimes wonder what happens when those qualities become the first thing people notice.
When the role becomes more visible than the child.
When being useful becomes more recognised than simply being yourself.
The more I reflect on this, the more I believe every child deserves space to discover who they are beyond what they provide for others.
Identity should not be built around responsibility alone.
CODA identity deserves space to exist beyond responsibility.
This reflection comes from my perspective as a Deaf parent, shaped by my family, my experiences, and the CODA voices I have listened to over time.
